Gør Verden Smukkere 1, 2 og 3.

Jeg fører en langsom Blog.
Nåmen, jeg har sammen med Per Leth-Nissen nu afsluttet trebindsværket "Gør Verden Smukkere".
All tre bøger er nu at finde i boghandlerne.
Hurrah!

National Pastime

Now, let's examine this "personal responsibility" thing.
Man A buys a cup of coffee in McDonalds, scalds himself because coffee is hot.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, what a startling revelation, coffee... is hot.
If you're new to this planet, and has never encountered this beverage, you're excused.

He then finds this the opportunity to right this evil wrong that has been inflicted upon him, and sues McDonalds.
The argument being "I burned my tongue, it wos them wot done it to me, they didn't warn me about the high temperature, I'm innocent guv, I really am."
Suing people seems to be the new national pastime.
Lets have a look at the implicated parts: Man A, 1 solicitor (what you yanks call a "lawyer"), McDonalds, the judicial system and society.
Man A feels he's a victim of an evil crime (it's not that he didn't check what he poured into his face at all, no no, it's not that).
The solicitor supports man A in this opinion, and from the unending kindness of his heart offers his services (free of charge should the case be dropped, but demanding half the loot should the case be won).
McDonalds, who, for all their faults and grotty semi-edibles, just serves coffee the way it should be, mainly warm.

I feel it's prudent to mention how coffee is brewed at this juncture -
From http://www.birdsandbeans.ca/richertaste/Brew.shtm
"1. Use high quality, freshly roasted coffee.
2. Grind the beans just before brewing.
3. Use clean brewing equipment.
4. Ensue that your brewing equipment operates at the correct temperature.
5. Use good quality water."

-more importantly-

"According to the Specialty Coffee Association of America (SCAA) infusion methods should ensure that the water is between 195 and 205 degrees Fahrenheit (90 - 96 degrees celsius). Hotter and the delicate molecules are destroyed, cooler and the flavours are not leached properly from the grinds."
There are other place out in those fabled internets where the brewing of coffee is mentioned in great detail - just to point out a few:
http://hypertextbook.com/facts/2003/DianaGendler.shtml
http://www.ineedcoffee.com/brewing/
http://www.ineedcoffee.com/03/brewing/
etc. etc.
But I digress, let's at least mention that boiling water is involved, as-if-you-didn't-know.

Where were we? Oh yes, Man A, the solicitor and McDonalds... read on:
The judicial system, who has nothing better to do than cater to the greedy,
such as, say, crime.
Society, that is, you and I and everyone else, who must witness this folly in our newspapers, on telly and whereever we get our news.
By accepting such cases we tell ourselves, each others and our children that it's okay to act like a baby. It's okay to toss aside personal responsibility for a quick buck, it's okay to stay nine years of age all your life...
"It's not my fault, they done it officer, not me"
you fall down a flight of stairs, you sue whomever owns the building (You're not clumsy, it's the stairs fault)
Let's take it a step further, you slip and fall on the ground, you sue the earth?
What will you do if you bite your tongue? Sue yourself?



This is not a unique case - there's the lady who microwaved her dog, the organic farmer whos crop was infected by genetically-altered grain and many many more.

Personal responsibility is going the way of the dodo.

Leezard

Blot en lille fjollert.
Just a bit of silly.

Gør Verden Smukkere.

Per Leth-Nissen og jeg har just udgivet en bog der omhandler de mest typiske psykologiske kvababelser. Disse er beskrevet med både kloge ord (Per) og geniale tegninger (mig, ydmygt). Den er udgivet hos Fahrenheit, der jo som bekendt er det bedste forlag nogensinde overhovedet i verdenshistorien (Paw).
Oplaget er på 3000 enheder, og allerede før den gik i trykken havde vi solgt 1800 eksemplare. Denne udgivelse repræsentérer min første kommercielle success. Party!
Her er Fahrenheits link: http://www.forlaget-fahrenheit.dk/udgivelser/boger/goer_verden_smukkere.html
Her er Pers ditto: http://www.plus2.dk/
Og her er min, men det vidste i jo allerede: http://www.solfire.com/~heiberg/

The Devils Jest

I think the devil invented religion
I think the devil laughed all the way home to his fellow demons.
He'd brag and say: "I've made Judaism today, now parents will harm their progeny in the name of a loving god"
He'd say: "I've made Christianity today, now people will fear life, and long for death.
They will be unable to live, or tolerate any that does"
He'd brag about this at length.
"In four to six hundred years, I'll create Islam, and then later still I'll invent Scientology" He'd say. "Thus people will kill each other, in the name of a loving god, I find this part particularly entertaining"
he'd chuckle at the fact humans would then, believing those stifling dogmas, restrict and restrain their own souls, and the souls of others. They'd strangle creativity, they'd create fear of love, real love, the love between one another. They'd create fear of human nature, of their own bodies, of their own longings and urges.
"God is love, and if you do not believe in Him, you'll burn for ever and ever and ever in hell" they'd say, and the devil would guffaw at a joke well executed.
They'd then describe hell in great detail, adding to the fear.
Until people were so petrified with terror, that they'd seek solace in the dogmas that instilled it.
"Oh what sport" the devil would say, "and best of all, they'll blame me for it all, they'll put aside their personal responsibility, they'll be unable to think for themselves, and blame others for their misfortunes and unhappiness.
They'll blame me, they'll blame each other, they'll blame the trees and the sky.
They'll blame the animals, the insects, the sea, the air and the food that they eat."
The devil would muse upon this jest, knowing it would last for a long long time.
"They will go to war" he'd say, "They'd go to war because their loving God is more loving than those others loving God"
"Some will not eat this, because the other tribe does so, they will mutilate themselves, because the other tribe does not - or they'll mutilate their children, because the other tribe will not."
He'd ponder this.
"They'll do this to their children and themselves, thus ensuring that their particular brand of madness will spread, it'll be hereditary, passed from parent to progeny"
The devil would laugh at this.
"A perpetuum mobile of hate and fear" He'd say, "They'll teach their children how to hate, instead of how to love"
He'd think himself clever, though forgetting, that he too, would at some point in the future need forgiveness. Forgiveness that would never come, because humans would forget how to.

This is the blueprint of our world.

Later, the devil would invent politics, but that's a different story.

THN

Der var engang...

Kender i den om den britiske gulerodsmarmelade?
Nej?
Jamen så lån mig øre, i brave brødre og søstre af ånden, thi her følge æventyret
om "Den gule rod"
Se det skete i de dage at regler blev skrevne og besluttede, om harmonisering blandt alle europas lande og folk.
En blandt disse mente at marmelade skulle være af frugt, og kun frugt og ikke grønsager, thi frugt var godt og et æble om dagen holder lægen borte.
Da faldt hans øje på de engelske folk og deres sære vaner, og O gru, O rædsel, dette folk gjorde henkogeri på gulerøder!
"Jamen du godeste" udbrød denne funktionær med bæven i stemmen, thi reglen var nemlig allerede trådt i kraft "Denne udåd må stoppes" tilføjede han bestemt, og drog således til Engeland.
Der åbenbarede han sig for folket med orderne "I skal ikke gøre marmelade af andet end frugt, thi frugt er godt, og et æble om dagen.. " og så videre.
Og med een tunge udbrød hele det engelske folk "Tvi dig, du falske engel, thi vi har siden ruder konges tid gjort marmelade på slig vis, og vi vil fremdeles gøre så" og tilføjede "fis af med dig, din båtnakke"
Da måtte funktionæren begive sig hjem med uforrettet sag, og tanken om at påny at skulle definere hvad man kunne putte i smørelsen gjorde ham ganske ør.
Da ramte inspirationen ham midt i smasken, ganske som en frossen snebold, eller snare i form a tømmermænd "Jeg vil hermed definere guleroden påny og med tilbagevirkende kraft, thi fremdeles vil denne rod ikke længere være en grønsag, men en frugt!"
Og således blev det, og hvis man orker, kan man den dag i dag, snuse i gamle dokumenter og se, at guleroden sandeligen altid har været defineret som frugt i
EUs store bog om mad.
Man ser det for sig, disse lunde med gulerodstræer, der duver blidt i vinden, og knoppes så yndigt.

...enestående tilfælde? jamen nejda, der var jo også den om den krumme agurk, eller den store tomat, men se, det er jo en anden historie.

Det er sødt / this is cute

jeg fandt en lille animation som jeg vil dele med jer der læser denne blog, om overhovedet nogen. I found a little animation I will share with you, the readers (if any) of this blog.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/161181