11.15.2006

Gør Verden Smukkere.


Per Leth-Nissen og jeg har just udgivet en bog der omhandler de mest typiske psykologiske kvababelser. Disse er beskrevet med både kloge ord (Per) og geniale tegninger (mig, ydmygt). Den er udgivet hos Fahrenheit, der jo som bekendt er det bedste forlag nogensinde overhovedet i verdenshistorien (Paw).
Oplaget er på 3000 enheder, og allerede før den gik i trykken havde vi solgt 1800 eksemplare. Denne udgivelse repræsentérer min første kommercielle success. Party!
Her er Fahrenheits link: http://www.forlaget-fahrenheit.dk/udgivelser/boger/goer_verden_smukkere.html
Her er Pers ditto: http://www.plus2.dk/
Og her er min, men det vidste i jo allerede: http://www.solfire.com/~heiberg/

5.14.2006

The Devils Jest


I think the devil invented religion
I think the devil laughed all the way home to his fellow demons.
He'd brag and say: "I've made Judaism today, now parents will harm their progeny in the name of a loving god"
He'd say: "I've made Christianity today, now people will fear life, and long for death.
They will be unable to live, or tolerate any that does"
He'd brag about this at length.
"In four to six hundred years, I'll create Islam, and then later still I'll invent Scientology" He'd say. "Thus people will kill each other, in the name of a loving god, I find this part particularly entertaining"
he'd chuckle at the fact humans would then, believing those stifling dogmas, restrict and restrain their own souls, and the souls of others. They'd strangle creativity, they'd create fear of love, real love, the love between one another. They'd create fear of human nature, of their own bodies, of their own longings and urges.
"God is love, and if you do not believe in Him, you'll burn for ever and ever and ever in hell" they'd say, and the devil would guffaw at a joke well executed.
They'd then describe hell in great detail, adding to the fear.
Until people were so petrified with terror, that they'd seek solace in the dogmas that instilled it.
"Oh what sport" the devil would say, "and best of all, they'll blame me for it all, they'll put aside their personal responsibility, they'll be unable to think for themselves, and blame others for their misfortunes and unhappiness.
They'll blame me, they'll blame each other, they'll blame the trees and the sky.
They'll blame the animals, the insects, the sea, the air and the food that they eat."
The devil would muse upon this jest, knowing it would last for a long long time.
"They will go to war" he'd say, "They'd go to war because their loving God is more loving than those others loving God"
"Some will not eat this, because the other tribe does so, they will mutilate themselves, because the other tribe does not - or they'll mutilate their children, because the other tribe will not."
He'd ponder this.
"They'll do this to their children and themselves, thus ensuring that their particular brand of madness will spread, it'll be hereditary, passed from parent to progeny"
The devil would laugh at this.
"A perpetuum mobile of hate and fear" He'd say, "They'll teach their children how to hate, instead of how to love"
He'd think himself clever, though forgetting, that he too, would at some point in the future need forgiveness. Forgiveness that would never come, because humans would forget how to.

This is the blueprint of our world.

Later, the devil would invent politics, but that's a different story.

THN

4.25.2006

Der var engang...

Kender i den om den britiske gulerodsmarmelade?
Nej?
Jamen så lån mig øre, i brave brødre og søstre af ånden, thi her følge æventyret
om "Den gule rod"
Se det skete i de dage at regler blev skrevne og besluttede, om harmonisering blandt alle europas lande og folk.
En blandt disse mente at marmelade skulle være af frugt, og kun frugt og ikke grønsager, thi frugt var godt og et æble om dagen holder lægen borte.
Da faldt hans øje på de engelske folk og deres sære vaner, og O gru, O rædsel, dette folk gjorde henkogeri på gulerøder!
"Jamen du godeste" udbrød denne funktionær med bæven i stemmen, thi reglen var nemlig allerede trådt i kraft "Denne udåd må stoppes" tilføjede han bestemt, og drog således til Engeland.
Der åbenbarede han sig for folket med orderne "I skal ikke gøre marmelade af andet end frugt, thi frugt er godt, og et æble om dagen.. " og så videre.
Og med een tunge udbrød hele det engelske folk "Tvi dig, du falske engel, thi vi har siden ruder konges tid gjort marmelade på slig vis, og vi vil fremdeles gøre så" og tilføjede "fis af med dig, din båtnakke"
Da måtte funktionæren begive sig hjem med uforrettet sag, og tanken om at påny at skulle definere hvad man kunne putte i smørelsen gjorde ham ganske ør.
Da ramte inspirationen ham midt i smasken, ganske som en frossen snebold, eller snare i form a tømmermænd "Jeg vil hermed definere guleroden påny og med tilbagevirkende kraft, thi fremdeles vil denne rod ikke længere være en grønsag, men en frugt!"
Og således blev det, og hvis man orker, kan man den dag i dag, snuse i gamle dokumenter og se, at guleroden sandeligen altid har været defineret som frugt i
EUs store bog om mad.
Man ser det for sig, disse lunde med gulerodstræer, der duver blidt i vinden, og knoppes så yndigt.

...enestående tilfælde? jamen nejda, der var jo også den om den krumme agurk, eller den store tomat, men se, det er jo en anden historie.

4.13.2006

Det er sødt / this is cute

jeg fandt en lille animation som jeg vil dele med jer der læser denne blog, om overhovedet nogen. I found a little animation I will share with you, the readers (if any) of this blog.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/161181

2.22.2006

OrdStrøm: The Blog

Velkommen til denne, min nye, samt første blog.
Her vil jeg fremdeles skrive tanker jeg finder er værd at dele med verdenen.

Welcome to this, my first blog.
Here I will write those of my thoughts I find worth sharing with the world.